Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Spider

I have been procrastinating on working in our small back yard garden this year. It’s always raining, there are mosquitoes, and it’s hot. Yes, I know I was raised in the woods, but that doesn’t mean that I think mosquitoes are . . . well, anything but vicious little creatures that should be avoided at all costs. In fact my one item I would have to take on Survivor is my bug spray . . . back when Survivor was cool. Which was like the first session. Anyway, I digress. Yesterday I was finally able to go work in our garden and try getting the posts set like I wanted. What follows is what happened when I moved over one of the posts, including inner monologue.

(oh, gross what it that . . . . some sort of weird dead spider . . . let me go get my camera)
(ok, now I have my camera let me take a picture,
I can’t get it to zoom in and be in focus,
what is all that stuff on it’s back,
well I’m going to have to get it out of the garden so I will move it will my hoe . . . . .
ok move it a little)
OH SH*T! (it’s not dead . ahahahhahahahaha . . . . )
(oh crap now what . . .
I guess I will take more pictures . . .
that is the biggest spider I have ever seen . . .
zoom in a little closer . . .
wait . . .
is that. . .
oh crap I think I’m going to throw up . . .
it’s a ZILLION little spiders!
Ahahahahahahahahha . . . . .)
(ok I have to get a picture of the front . . .
ahahahahahahaha . . . . . )

(ok now what . .
I don’t want to kill it cause it’s a mommy and I’m a mommy, but it’s babies are spiders and what if they come back and why can’t stuff like this leave me alone and I’m super grossed out . . . .
this is totally my Indiana Jones moment in Temple of Doom
with the bugs and the baby snakes . . .
ok don’t throw up, don’t throw up . . .
ok so I’m going to have to kill them because I don’t want this to happen again,
but if I smush it then they will climb all over me,
ok don’t throw up, don’t throw up . . . .
I’ll go get the bug killer)

(Ahhh haaa!!! Take that you disgusting evil beast!)

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Seriously I have had it with this stuff. I love it when our wild rabbits are in the yard (I say ours because we have named them) and quite enjoyed seeing the turkeys, but I really really don’t want to have any more encounters like this, PLEASE! I don’t want to see or hear anything that . . .well anything that is gross, can bite me, is in super large numbers, or that can fly at my head.

3 comments:

Samantha said...

OMG. You are MUCH braver than I am. I would have called Orkin. {Even though they just came out last week.}

Pregnantly Plump said...

I've NEVER seen a spider like that! I wouldn't have had the guts to take pictures at all. I would have just screamed and run and hoped that Bob was home or my neighbor (who is very adept at gardening and doesn't seem scared of creepy crawlies) was outside. I'm a total, total wus.
By the way, one of Little Elvis' favorite new sayings is "Go Away Bugs!" which he learned from Mommy.

Sarah said...

Erm, well, that is kinda gross. Pretty sure I would have killed it too.